undeadfanstoriesfandomcom-20200214-history
Anguish
This is Chapter Twenty Seven of Danganronpa: Anguish & Desire, Caged Time!. In this chapter, Ken and his fellow Ultimates investigate a new floor; and, an important discovery is made. Author's Note: *dabs* ---- I didn’t know if sleeping that night was the right thing to do. Yuka, Rai, Azama, Tomori, Nakamoto, Satoshi, Shiomi...everyone else was hurting just as badly. Why should I have let myself fall into my deep slumber if Nakamoto just lost his closest friend. If Yuka had been threatened by Obinata like she was... ...why should I get to wake up when he couldn’t? When everyone else couldn’t? … My head hurts. It’s pounding all over again. I made it through the trial without wanting to pass out and die, but now that we’re out...I don’t know if I can get up. If my body can force itself up. ...I don’t know if I can face Rai. I mean, Rai kissed me last night. I was their first kiss and they were mine, but...it doesn’t feel like it was Rai’s first kiss. Rai seemed so comfortable, so… ...geez, what am I even thinking about?! I quickly pull the blanket over my head. This is too embarrassing to think about; And I don’t want MonoMech watching me squirm like this. But, still--! “Ihateevertyingwhyisnthelpcoming--!” As if answering my non-existent prayers, the second I concluded the sentence that I spat out too fast to space, there was a knock at my door. But...the morning announcement didn’t go off yet? Or, did I sleep through it again...? Sasada’s gonna kill me… … I shouldn’t think about it. I drag myself out of my bed and put on a pair of jeans; at least I have some sense in me to not answer the door in just my boxers. I’m kinda proud of myself. So, I dragged my feet to my door, and hastily unlock it, and the moment I do so, the door opens. I wasn’t really sure who I was expecting to be there waiting for me, but Satoshi would’ve been among the last, I think. But, here he stands, scratching the back of his neck. His brown eyes widen as he lays his eyes on me, and, I probably get why. I probably look like a mess. “Satoshi…?” “H-Hi, Ken…” … There’s a silence -- it’s brief, sure, but it’s enough to make me wary. I don’t think he thought I’d actually open my door. “Did I miss the morning meeting again…?” “No,” he mumbles. “I...I wasn’t sure if you’d be up, but I just wanted to talk…” I don’t have any reason not to say no; I could probably use a little distraction anyway. “Yeah, sure, what’s up?” “It’s just...that trial, ya know?” Well, so much for my distraction. I really have nothing to say, so I just nod as he continues. “I just--I didn’t realize that Obinata could be so manipulative. He really made me think Saishi killed himself, and...he used our fear for his advantage.” That’s right. Obinata manipulated everyone to follow his lead by convincing everyone that they did not want to die -- but more than that, that they didn’t wanna have to fight amongst each other. That they didn’t wanna go against their friends anymore. Friends? ...are they really my friends? Gah--what do I mean?! Of course they’re my friends. We have to be. “And then he flipped it all on you,” Satoshi continues. “He used your self-harm to make it look like you lost yourself, and--!” he pauses, but he refuses to look away from me. “I didn’t believe it, I couldn’t believe it. You know that, right Ken?” ...how am I supposed to know that? “Look, I know--I know, okay. We haven’t really talked a lot since we’ve gotten here, but I...I just want to know.” I find myself sighing. Here it comes… “What do you wanna know, Satoshi?” “I just--how’re you holding up?” There it is. I don’t understand why everyone wants to baby me. I get it, okay--I’ve made mistakes. I’ve made mistakes. But if people like Satoshi keep trying to walk on eggshells around me...I really might lost it. I get that his intention is good, but please… “Fine,” I say. “Is that all?” He takes a step forward. “R-Really?” “Yes, really. I’m fine.” Satoshi sighs and leans back again. “You’d talk to Kitoaji and Yuka though, right? It’s because it’s me, isn’t it?” Huh…? What does it matter? I don’t want you people to baby me anymore. It’s not because it’s you, Satoshi, although it doesn’t help...we don’t talk much. “No. Why would you say that?” He shakes his head. “No reason, I’m just...out of it. I’m sorry, Ken -- I didn’t mean to say something weird or offend you. I wanted to talk to someone to distract me from...all of this, but I screwed that up, right?” Satoshi laughs to himself, and I can’t help but feel a little...bad. I don’t mean to sound annoyed or alienate him, but… “Satoshi, do you wanna go to the dining hall? The announcement should be playing soon, anyway.” He silently nods and spins around to face the hallway. “Yeah, sure. I’d like that.” So, I got ready for the day, and followed Satoshi to the dining hall, and once the morning announcement went off and the doors unlocked, we went inside and got breakfast -- we’re starting to run low on food, now that I’m actually back here myself; we’ve only really got some fruit and tea left -- and sat down at one of the tables. We started talking about our family, and…I just can’t shake that odd feeling out of my mind. I honestly don’t think Satoshi is a bad guy. I don’t. But...I don’t understand him. I get that we’re in a scary situation; I’m scared. I don’t think a moment has gone by since we’ve gotten here that in the back of my head there was the fear that someone was going to kill me. I try to fight it. I try to escape it, at least in the investigations. In the trials. Cause, it’s not just about me… ...it’s about my little sister that’s watching everything I do. God--then that means…? My sister saw me hurting myself… ...fuck. The point is though, it’s not just about me. If I were to act like Satoshi did in the trials, Azama would die. Tomori would die. Shiomi would die. Yuka would die. Rai would die. Nakamoto would die, and Satoshi would, too. So, why--?! Why does he let it take over; why does he refuse to help investigate? It’s actually starting to get to me too much--! “But yeah,” he says. “No brothers, no sisters. I had a stray cat I used to play with, but one day she stopped showing up to play.” “Aw,” I mumble. “I never had any pets, I’ve always wanted a small puppy, but we were too poor to get one. There was this puppy store I used to pass by all the time, and when I went with Touka, we’d contemplate taking one.” “By taking, you mean…?” “Stealing, yeah. Ah, but we never did, that’s probably worth pointing out.” “Good morning, you two.” The voice from behind me belongs to Azama, who hurriedly sits beside me. “I know it’s pointless to ask, but how’d you two sleep.” “Decent enough,” Satoshi says. I nod. “Good, I guess. You?” “Like a baby,” she says. “This might sound...wrong, but, those trials just drain me. I just collapsed into my bed.” Tomori’s quick to join us, too, and she sits next to Satoshi. “Yo,” she greets, rubbing her eyes and wrapping her arm around Satoshi’s shoulders. She pulls his head onto her shoulders, and, he blushes ever-so-slightly. “I’m so tired guys, aren’t you? Why do we need to do this today?” “Unfortunately,” Azama says. “We need to investigate the new floor that opens today.” Ah, I forgot about that. We get to explore the fourth floor of the school now. That’s the payment we get for the deaths of three of our friends. Nakamoto’s next. He takes the seat next to Satoshi. His eyes have bags under them, but still, he smiles brightly. “Good morning, Satoshi-chi...everyone.” “Hey,” Satoshi greets. “How’re you holding up…?” There’s a brief silence; Nakamoto looks down at the table for a brief moment. “I’m fine, guys. We all lost something, it’s just..part of me keeps thinking Obi-chi’s going to walk through those doors still. I’ll miss him. Hell, I’ll even miss Saishi-chi too.” “I’m gonna miss them all,” Shiomi mumbles, taking a seat next to me. “Good morning, guys.” After Shiomi joins us, Yuka’s quick to make her way to us too. She sits beside Azama, pouting amongst herself. “This sucks! That stupid morning announcement wakes me up every morning and I think today would be such a good day to sleep in. I hate this.” No surprise though, Rai’s the last to show today. I’m sure they’re upset with me. Rai has to be. I don’t know what I did wrong, but...there’s no other reason for Rai to be a half hour late. “Right, Ku-chan?” … Oh, what’s going on? “What happened?” “Isn’t it weird how we know really next to nothing about anything regarding our capture?” Azama asks. Well… “Saishi did say we weren’t at Hope’s Peak,” I mumble. “Yeah, but then where are we?” Nakamoto asks. “And who has us?” Shiomi continues. “They need to be, like, a super big corp!” Yuka exclaims. “How else could they have, like, kidnapped so many people!” “It’s a government experiment then!” Nakamoto shouts out. “No one could stop the government from doing such a thing--!” “We, uh, don’t live in a such a society…” Satoshi mumbles, and Tomori’s boisterous laugh fires through. “Now, now, who knows…” Azama says. “Maybe we’ll find something when we investigate the next floor.” “Right, maybe they--ah, hi Rai-chi!” Rai…? I spin my head in the direction of where Nakamoto is staring, and I find Rai sitting down beside Shiomi. “Good morning everyone,” Rai says as Shiomi pats ‘em on the back. For a moment -- just a moment -- we make eye-contact, and I say it like that, ‘cause almost instantly Rai turns away and looks to Nakamoto. “How’s everyone doing?” Rai’s ignoring me…? “Good, what about you, my kind Rai-chi?” “I’m fine,” Rai says. “What’s on the agenda for today?” Shiomi tilts his head. “Exploring the fourth floor and…” “That should be about it,” Nakamoto says. “Should we get to it…?” Just as Nakamoto began to rise to his feet, Azama almost springs forward. “Ah, wait!” Nakamoto freezes, and, after staring at Azama for a moment, sits back down. “What is it, Kiyo-chi?” “Remember yesterday? After the trial, I wanted to talk to you all...about us.” ...before I gave you an attitude and left, right? I’m...sorry. “Oh yeah, what was that about?” Yuka asks, tilting her head. “Are you finally announcing yourself as a traitor?” Azama sighs. “No, I--” “I know!” Nakamoto exclaims, jumping back up. “You are announcing me -- Kei Nakamoto -- as the new leader of the group, since Saishi-chi’s dead!” ...what? Really? The room just got...super uncomfortable. Azama only sighs. “Um...no.” “Why would you even think that?” Tomori asks, and in response Satoshi tries to life his head up, but she keeps him locked in. “You stay.” “Okay…” he whispers. “Well, since I am the oldest, I figure it’s only natural I move up in the social order,” Nakamoto reasons, shrugging his shoulders. “Ain’t that right, Yuka-chi?” Yuka tilts her head. “No way, pervert.” “P-Pervert--?!” “Anyways,” Azama continues. “I just wanted to say that I love everyone here, I really do. And, it’s now more than ever that we need to put aside our difference and come together.” … “I love you guys, too,” Shiomi mumbles. “And, well, I think Azama’s right.” “For that reason, I’d like to take something out of Saishi’s book, if that’s okay,” Azama says, closing her eyes for only a small moment of time. “I know what has happened between a lot of us might be looked at as unforgivable, but just for a small amount of time, let’s put that aside and show MonoMech who’s boss.” “I’m down,” Nakamoto says, sighing to himself. “What’d you have in mind?” “While we investigate the fourth floor, I think we should go in groups of two.” “Another buddy system?” Rai asks. “Yes,” Azama says. “And, I’ve gone out of my way to make the groups, so if you could just indulge this, I’d be grateful.” “I don’t have a problem with it,” Tomori says. “Anyone else?” There’s a silence. “No objections? Good. Let’s do it.” So, Azama put us into groups of two. Satoshi and Nakamoto got put together, Azama put herself with Rai, Shiomi and I got together, and...Tomori and Yuka are together. I wish I could explain the terror and anger in Yuka’s face when she found out she was with Tomori. I...get why Azama’s putting them together, I do, but watching her face turn white and a tear well up in her eye hurt. She’s still scared of Tomori -- or, rather, still angry Tomori tried to murder Mio with Yosano’s prized possession. Still, I wish I were paired with Rai. There’s just -- I need to apologize. I don’t know what I did, but… ...I’m not getting that opportunity soon. The moment we got into groups, we dismissed and Rai dragged Azama away by the wrist to the fourth floor. Everyone followed suit, and now Shiomi and I stand together by the staircase leading back down to the third floor. “Together at last,” Shiomi chuckles, wrapping his arm around me. He practically shoves Tani’s video camera in my face. “...hey, that would be a cool song.” I stare into the camera for a moment, before rolling my eyes. “The best.” “C’mon,” he continues. “You can’t lie to the camera, ya know that, right? Think of it as a diary; what do you think of that title?” I sigh. “Generic.” He gasps. “How rude...” You were the one who asked for honesty! “Let’s break it!” Shiomi looks away from me. “Looks like someone needs our manly strength.” ...is that something we even have? I’m only like one hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet, and I don’t think you’re that fit either… Whatever. “Let’s do it, Shiomi.” He nods, and the two of us to start our journey down the hallway toward where the sound was coming from. The hallway is structured so we head straight down, and then it splits to the right and left. When we hit that intersection, we turn to the right, and find Rai, Azama, Satoshi, and Nakamoto standing in front of the door to Classroom 4-A. The door is barricaded with a bunch of wooden planks, and Rai, Azama, and Satoshi work away at trying to tear them town, though it doesn’t seem like they’re making much progress. Yeah, Azama trying to kick at a board with her dress is, uh, definitely not making any problems. Rai and Satoshi work together to rip at another, but yeah, nothing is working. ...why isn’t Nakamoto helping them? He’s clearly the most physically fit of all of us, sans Tomori who isn’t here right now. But he just watches them with his arms crossed. “I’m tellin’ ya guys, it’s not worth it,” he mumbles. “What do you think we’ll find in there?” “It’s blocked for a reason,” Azama says, backing away from the board. “Maybe it’s something MonoMech doesn’t want us to find.” “Or it’s a trap!” Azama sighs, and Shiomi and I find ourselves approaching her. “Yo, what’d ya find?” Shiomi asks. “What’s it look like?” “Do you need help?” I ask. She places her hands on her hips. “It’d be nice, Ku-chan. Nakamoto is next to useless.” “Because it’s pointless--!” he exclaims. “If anything, Mono-chi is gonna make us go through all this work and leave a note that says, ‘Fuck off bear-y much!’” “He’s not even a bear,” Satoshi pants, taking a step away from the board -- Rai also follows suit. “What’s even with the puns?” “Beats me,” Rai pouts, placing their hands on their knees. Azama places her hand on Rai’s head and rubs her hand through their hand. “...I need to take a break.” “But we just got the firepower,” Satoshi says. “Let’s give it one more go, at least.” Rai nods and looks up at Shiomi and myself. “Fine.” ...why is Rai mad at me? I don’t get it--I didn’t even do anything wrong...I think. I totally did, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter right now, though. So, Azama, Satoshi, Rai, Shiomi, and myself got to work on the boards that were nailed to the door, and, after five or ten minutes...we made literally no progress. All I can say with one hundred percent certainty is that I’d rather die than continue. I’m so tired... “This sucks,” Shiomi sighs. I hear Nakamoto chuckle. “I told you guys it was pointless--oh, hi, Tomori-chi, Yuka-chi.” I turn back from my spot beside Azama to look at Nakamoto, who is now joined by Yuka and Tomori. Yuka looks to the ground while Tomori looks at the five of us struggling to break the boards. “What’re you guys doing?” “Isn’t it--ya know what, nevermind,” Azama sighs, flipping her hair out of her face. “We’re trying to get in here.” Rai sits back on the wall next to the door. “We haven’t made any progress in, like, five minutes.” Tomori sighs to herself. “You guys…” She walks toward us, and, with one swift kick-- --Tomori breaks one of the boards in half. And, well, within seconds she’d broken all of the wood blocking the door, and when she was done, she was met by the gaze of seven idiots...myself included, of course. Once done, she spins around to face us. “That wasn’t too bad, now was it?” S-She’s so cool--! A super pretty model who is also super strong...you only see that in, like, those really cool detective shows! … Maybe she’s actually a spy--?! What if, what if--! Tomori folds her arms. “Why is everyone staring at me like I just killed someone?” “Oh, sorry,” Azama says. “I knew you were strong Tomori-chi, but damn…” “Is it just me...or is it kinda cold?” Yuka asks, clinging to Nakamoto’s arm. “Why’s it so cold here?” She wipes her hand on her shirt and turns back to the door. “Well, shall we see what’s inside?” “Let’s do it!” Nakamoto exclaims. “Good work everyone!” ...you didn’t even do anything. Anyways, Tomori opens the door to Classroom 4-A, and...and… ...and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and... Before us, all the desks that one would normally expect in a classroom were gone, and the space within the classroom were replaced with a giant, metal cage. And when I say giant, I mean, half of the budget for this kidnapping must’ve went into buying this thing. And when I say cage, uh, it’s really like a prison cell...now that I think about it. But that’s not the important part. It’s what’s inside the cage that matters. Because, in the far corner of the cage. She’s curled up in the fetal position, and, I guess in reaction to the door opening, she lifts her head up. “Nakata…?” Nakata steadily gazes upon us all, and Shiomi’s the one who runs around the cage to get to her. She’s okay. Nakata’s okay. Oh thank god...oh thank god. Nakata’s hair is all cut up, and...she’s shivering. She’s left in a sole tanktop and her gym shorts, but...she doesn’t look hurt. I don’t see any scratches or bruises on her, at last. When Shiomi brings himself close to Nakata however, she steadily backs away from him. “Don’t come closer.” Shiomi’s quick to oblige. “O-Okay.” ... “Please--get me out.” It is freezing in here, Yuka was right. I almost immediately find myself tensing up and shivering; we need to get Nakata out of here. It also...smells really bad in here. Like, really bad...what even is this room? Azama also circles the cage, and she jumps up and down. “Guys, we need a key.” “A key?” Nakamoto asks. “I-It’s shaped like a bear,” Nakata mumbles, finding herself beside Azama. “I...don’t know where it is.” “We’ll find it,” Shiomi says, and Nakata only nods in response. “Thank you,” she whispers. With that, Shiomi leaves the classroom. Nakamoto, Satoshi, Rai, and Tomori both take that as their cue to leave as well, so they follow suit. ...my feet won’t move. I can’t stop staring at Nakata. I don’t--I don’t wanna leave her here. Satoshi’s hand finds it’s way onto my shoulder. “Let’s go.” “We’ll stay here,” Azama says as Yuka skips to her side. “If that’s okay, Nakata?” She only nods. “Sure.” But...she’s so cold. What should I--ah! I skip forward toward the cage, and I swiftly take my jacket off. “Well, take this, please.” She hesitates -- she doesn’t even look at me. But, she walks over to where I stand and, through the bars, she takes my jacket. Yuka gasps to herself. “Give her your pants too, Big Brother Ken! Look how short those things are on her.” ...huh? Should I? Yuka giggles amongst herself and I just hear Nakata sigh. “Go.” I nod to myself, and follow Satoshi out of the classroom. We walk along the hallway until we reach the next room over: Classroom 4-B. “You okay?” Satoshi timidly asks, opening the door to the classroom. ...Yeah. I’m fine. “I think.” “She’s alive,” Satoshi says to himself. “I bet you’re dying to talk to her, but let’s get her out of there and let her rest for a bit.” I know. “Let’s find this key. Let’s get her out.” He nods, and we begin to search the classroom. Unlike the last one, there are desks in here, and teacher’s desk -- a storage locker, too. But, the desks have scratches in them, the teacher’s desk looks like it was sawn in half, and the storage locker lies on it’s side -- there’s even a crimson red substance dripping down in. It’s like someone came in here and tore the place up. “...it looks like a tornado flew through here,” Satoshi says, rummaging through the drawers in the teacher’s desk. “...nothing here.” I sigh from the back of the class. I even checked under each of the desks, but nothing. “Same here.” I find my way over to the storage locker; this is the only place we haven’t checked, after all. Satoshi is quick to join me, and, the green locker gets stuck at first, but with a little effort, we get it open. And, inside, we strike gold. Well, not really gold, but, just finding anything would’ve made me happy. And we found...well, something. There’s a blank piece of paper. Well, it’s not blank, because when I pick it up and spin it around, Satoshi gasps to himself. It’s a class roster. Satoshi’s finger meets his name. “Hey! There I am. And Yuka, and Tani, and everyone’s here.” Yeah, that’s true, everyone’s here. Everyone alive and gone. … Huh…? Who’s this? My finger meets a certain name in the class roster, a name unfamiliar to me. Komaru Izumi. Not only do I not recognize the name, but...her name is printed twice. That’s odd. Satoshi senses my confusion, and out of the corner of my eye I see him tilt his head. “Is it a printing error?” … “Probably. It’d be too coincidence for there to be two people with the same exact name.” Satoshi nods. “Ah, this is probably the seventeenth student you were talking about then, right? The note you and Saishi found.” ...he’s right. Komaru Izumi is probably the seventeenth participant that’s been trapped here by MonoMech. I hope she’s okay. But, that begs the question...where is she? Maybe Nakata has seen her. “Guys!” The deep voice belonging to Nakamoto calls out to us, and Satoshi and I are both quick to turn around and face him. “Y-You guys, it’s amazing!” “What…?” I ask. “Did you guys find the key?” Satoshi asks. Nakamoto nods. “It’s--!” “Hey we got all day, you okay?” He nods once more, and takes a moment to collect himself. “Sorry, Ken-chi. I got too excited! It’s just awesome!” “What is?” Satoshi asks. “First things first, Shiomi-chi found the key for Nakata-chi. Kiyo-chi and Yuka-chi are taking her to the Nurse’s Office to get warmed up and treat now.” ...oh thank god. I feel a weight just disperse from my shoulders. “Can we see her?” He shakes his head. “Kiyo-chi said it’d be best if the girls took care of her for a while. It’s probably for the best.” … Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. But… “What else is there?” Nakamoto clasps his hands together. “Come see this!” Nakamoto grabs Satoshi and I’s wrists and spin around. He pulls the two of us forward and leads us down the opposite hallway. “What’re we gonna find?” “Hush, Ken-chi! It’s a surprise!” So, Satoshi and I let Nakamoto drag us -- literally -- around a corner, and… ...wow. Wow. Before us, Tomori, Shiomi and Rai stand wide-eyed at what lays before them. And, well, Satoshi and I can’t help but do the same. Before us was a gigantic -- and I mean, gigantic, it literally takes up the entire wall -- metal door. It was something straight out of a science fiction novel. It’s, like, so futuristic, and...for a moment I didn’t even see the machine gun that hangs above it. Only a moment though. “It’s...incredible! If it was a song title, it’d be called...Our Metal Future!” Tomori nearly shrieks with excitement. “Satoshi, Ku-chan, how incredible is this!” Rai giggles. “It’s, like, sooooo fancy! And we can leave now, right? We found the exit!” “It’s really amazing,” I say, and I see Satoshi nod in agreement. Nakamoto steps up, and points to a screen that rests beside the futuristic door. There’s a keypad next to it, with five blank spaces “It requires a five digit passcode to unlock the door.” 11037. Tomori then points to the machine gun “And, like the locker rooms, if we get it wrong, we’d get murdered.” “What do you think it is?” Shiomi asks. “It’s gotta be something we’ve seen before, right?” “Or it’s not,” Tomori says. “For all we know, it’s something completely random MonoMech came up with.” I slowly find myself making my way toward the screen as Nakamoto shrugs his shoulder and turns to talk to Satoshi and Shiomi. 11037. That’s the number that keeps playing through my mind. Why is that? I find myself bringing my hand up to the touch-screen and placing my finger above the one. But, before I can press down on it, someone jerks me back by the wrist. “Hey, do you have a death wish, Rabbit?” Tomori looks down at me, her eyes narrow and sharp. “I don’t know what’s up with you lately, but I ain’t gonna let you do something stupid.” “N-No, I was--” “No excuses, Rabbit. Listen, I don’t have to stand guard here all the time to prevent you from doing suicidal, do I?” I shake my head. “I just wanted to try something.” Tomori releases me for a moment, and scratches the back of her neck. “Well, don’t. We can’t afford to lose anyone else.” ...yes we can. If I get it right, then we can all get out of here together! And if I don’t well...I’m okay with that loss. “Don’t give me that face,” she says, patting my head. She runs her hand through my hair, and I hear her sigh. “You’ve got too many knots, Rabbit, you know that?” I find myself pouting. “I didn’t get conditioner with my bathroom.” “We’ll have a girl’s night then,” she chuckles. “I don’t extend my beauty guru skills to just everyone, ya know? I’ve gotta be selective so no one steals my title. Plus, I’m sure you like it when people play with your hair, right? I know I do.” ...she’s not wrong. Touka used to do it all the time, and Azama even did it before. She throws her hand over my shoulder, and pulls me in. “Tomorrow? I checked my schedule and it looks like I’ve got a whole lot of nothing.” I find myself giggling. “I think mine’s similar. Not to mention Rai won’t talk to me, so I’m as free as can be.” “Cheers to the hated,” she says, and takes her arm off of my shoulder. She smiles brightly. “We’d make a great team.” I find myself smiling, and soon after Satoshi, Shiomi, and Nakamoto join back up with us. I hadn’t noticed however that Rai had disappeared from the group and met up with Yuka, Azama, and Nakata on the second floor. Nakata… Should I do this? She probably needs to rest now, right? I mean, it’s hard to imagine she slept much since MonoMech took her, so maybe I should leave her for now. Azama said that tomorrow we’d all meet up in the morning to discuss our findings and fill Nakata in on what happened. We needed to let her rest, though. I get it, I really do, but... But...I want to talk to her. “Want”? It...doesn’t feel like a ‘want’ though. It’s more like a need. My...chest hurts. It hurts… ...why does it hurt? She attacked me. She didn’t trust me enough and she hurt me. That’s what it was, right? So, why would that change now…? But--no! She comforted me. She tried to help me. She was just confused, scared maybe, so…! I knock on her door. Just twice, and as gentle as I could. She’s probably asleep; I don’t wanna wake her if so. When the nighttime announcement went off, I couldn’t force my eyes shut, but she’d been gone for a while, so I doubt she’s awake, but one could hope. But, luck is on my side, I suppose… ...because rather quickly the door opens. Nakata stands over me, and--I know her. I know Nakata. She doesn’t look like she usually does; she looks tired. She looks...I don’t know, but it isn’t her. Her hazel eyes look so...empty. “Yes?” Ah, right. I shouldn’t just stare at her. “Hi.” She remains silent, so I guess I should just continue. “I, uh…” “Goodbye.” “I am a killer. I’ve dealt with worse.” She goes to close the door, but, I find myself stepping forward into the doorway. The door gently taps my foot and stays that way, while Nakata only blankly stares at me...that was probably a mistake, right? “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, Nakata. Please, if anything’s wrong, I--!” “Ken, shut the fuck up.” … Huh…? Her voice is vindictive -- so filled with hate and anger. It wasn’t anything like I saw from her before. “Ken, let’s make something very clear, okay? I don’t like you. Your usefulness has outlasted itself; the fact that you’re still alive is amazing. You’re literally useless to me, and to everyone else now, got it? So leave me alone.” … “Nakata, I--!” “Leave.” With that, she pushes me back into the hallway, and slams the door shut. I’m useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless. I knew that. I knew it. But… ...she was only using me…? So...none of it was real? All of it was a lie--she was using me? “Nakata…?” Before I knew it, I found myself on my knees. I was...trembling. I don’t know why it hurts so much. “Mom, can you hear me?” My mom’s head moves only slightly. Her eyelids twitch, and her mouth opens only slightly. “--es. I hear you.” “How’re you feeling? I, uh, I got you something.” “Oh, what is it?” Her eyes slowly open, and...she looks gone. Her pupils are dilated, and her stare is blank. She looks like the hollow version of the beautiful, energetic mom I once knew. She can barely muster enough energy to eat nowadays. I lean over her, and, steadily place my lips on top of her forehead. “Happy birthday.” I grab my mother’s hand and uncurl her fingers. I reach down into my jean pocket, and I pull out of it a necklace. I’m not proud of the fact that I stole it on my way home from school, but… ...I wanted to get her something. She deserves it. I place the necklace in her hand, and she steadily grasps it. She takes a while to bring it up to look at it, but when she does, I hear her gasp to herself. She knows that I steal, but she pretends she doesn’t. I think she feels guilty that I do, but… she shouldn’t. I do it for us -- for Touka, too. Speaking of which… “It’s from Touka, too.” “Where is she?” “She’s with your sister, mom.” She nods ever-so-slightly. “Okay.” There’s a brief silence, and mom’s empty gaze refuses to leave the necklace. “It’s so beautiful.” I find myself laughing -- I’m happy. I’m happy she likes it. “Want me to put it on you?” “Please.” I smile and take the necklace out of her hands once more. I steadily place it around her neck, and once done, I place my lips on her forehead once more. “Ken...I’m so proud of you. You’re bright, you’re kind, you’re special. Maybe...you’ll be the one who gets us out of here.” Me…? “Yeah mom,” I whisper. “I’d love that.” “And when you get out of here, I want you to have it.” I tilt my head. “Have what?” She timidly smiles, and strokes the necklace that dangles on her neck. “This.” Category:Anguish & Desire Category:Anguish & Desire Chapters